he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
