Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize