I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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