I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
