It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize