Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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