Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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