planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
