you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
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