she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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