Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
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