Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm at about main and main street
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
