id be glad to
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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