I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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