Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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