There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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