My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
