Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
