So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
