My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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