I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
