he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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