just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Come on in and take your pants off
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