Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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