I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
