Already got asked if we're dating
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
