Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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