He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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