so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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