Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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