More tranny stories later!
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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