We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
