okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
