I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
