Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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