Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My breasts were aching with rage.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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