woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
