I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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