i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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