im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
