Whoa Z and x make the same sound
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
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