I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
