I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
