If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
