So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
