he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
