So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
