Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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