..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
