Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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