Swine flu is the new snow day.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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