What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
