I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
