Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
