Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
