It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
