Your face is a jimmy john
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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