i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Randomize
