Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
