I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
