Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
