She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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