Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
