whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
