What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
