talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
