I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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