This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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