My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
